


Not Alone

by starsoverhead



Category: Knight Rider (1982), Transformers (Bay Movies)
Genre: Cultural Differences, Established Relationship, Internal Conflict, M/M, Philosophy, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-26
Updated: 2013-08-26
Packaged: 2017-12-24 17:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/942367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsoverhead/pseuds/starsoverhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kitt was changed into a transformer thanks to the power of the Allspark.  Now he has to try to live with what he's become.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Alone

He crouched at the edge of the overlook, looking down over acres of trees and clearings. It stretched on nearly to the horizon. In the distance, he could see where the forest had been cleared, where a road ran into a low-lying town that was miles away. And he knew that there, the occupants of that town couldn't see him even if he stood, stretched to his full height, and extended his arms, he wouldn't be more than a slight blur to even someone down there with vision that was better than perfect.  
  
Even with that knowledge, he remained crouched in the place he'd chosen. There was no way, he thought, that he could now be as unnoticeable as he had been. He would be an inky blot against the sky to someone looking from below, a black hole against the ground to someone looking from above. He was a thing of metal and gears, a mechanical construct now of two worlds. His fingers, newly gotten and an addition he was still unaccustomed to, splayed against the ground for balance. These hands were dangerous, he'd found. He'd fought alongside the Autobots, the newcomers from the stars. Just as they had almost destroyed him once, that time, he had destroyed one of them. The thought terrified him even now.  
  
"I was told I could find you here."  
  
With all of them weighing as they did, the ground fairly shook when they walked. He wasn't surprised to be spoken to. Neither was he truly surprised at who it was that had come to speak to him. Few of them came so close when he was off to himself. "I didn't make it a secret," he answered, slowly looking from the horizon upward, toward the leader of the Autobots. [Hello, Prime,] he spoke in the language that, with effort, he'd learned. It was native to them, but still alien to him.  
  
[Your knowledge of our language is increasing,] the elder responded, the pleasant surprise audible in his voice. Even in this mechanical tongue, some of the inflections were impossible to miss.  
  
But Kitt looked away. [In some things, I'm a fast learner. In others, it seems I'm more stubborn than a mountain.]  
  
[There were few mountains on Cybertron. But here, I've seen many. I've heard how they rose with the movement of the very earth, how they form the edges of the tectonic plates, and how some grow over time. I've seen images of the Grand Canyon, where rock was cut by water, and of the formations in the deserts where stone was eroded by wind, and of the stalactites and stalagmites that live so long as water touch them. I don't think mountains are as stubborn as you say. I believe that perhaps they're patient.] Prime took a place at Kitt's side, looking out over the landscape. [This planet has that kind of beauty. Patient and growing. Organic.]  
  
[That is a word that doesn't translate so well into this language. Cybertronian isn't organic. It's purely mechanical, precise and exacting. The fluidity of organic life is never as precise as a machine. There's always an element of uncertainty and unpredictability that keeps it unique.] His voice had a different tone than he was used to when he spoke the alien language. Though he knew it was his, he didn't fully recognize it when he heard it.  
  
He saw Prime nod at his words. [You've had much more time here than we have. You were created here, and have lived among the humans your entire life. It's that experience, as well as your origin, that makes you unique among us.]  
  
[I don't believe I'm truly among you, Prime.] His voice quieted as he looked up at the leader, meeting Prime's gaze. He knew the differences between them. He was of Earth. He still wore his MBS, and unlike the Autobots, his optics glowed a vibrant red. When he spoke again, the voice he used was his own: accented, moderately pitched, and speaking in English once more. "I don't have the heart for your war. I'm not an Autobot. I'm not a soldier or a warrior. The things you fight for are wonderful, noble, and vital, but I can't make fighting my life." His head bowed. "I've lived with humans all my life. I've seen our wars - human wars, Earth wars - and the atrocities that one living being can commit against another, and they horrify me. Since I was created, there has been a constant state of war in the Middle East. Brother against brother, with the innocent caught in the middle. This planet can't even stop its own wars, and you've brought another to it." Quickly, he raised a hand to forestall any response. "I don't blame you. Your war is older than this planet, making it far older than me. But that, at heart, is the real difference between us."  
  
"What do you mean, Kitt? You're right that this war has lasted eons." Prime spoke as softly as Kitt, watching the smaller transformer with a thoughtful curiousity. Kitt wasn't looking at him, though. Rather, he was looking at the ground where his hand was still splayed. "And I have no greater regret than the knowledge that we've brought this war to a planet completely innocent of any involvement other than the discovery of the Allspark, which was an act of fate. You speak of the age of the war being the difference, though. I don't understand."  
  
Kitt's hand closed, grasping rock, dirt, and grass as he lifted it, standing. "You have seen this war. You've seen all of it, from the moment it began until this very second. You know of a time before your people were at war. And that was a time before Earth even supported life, if my calculations are anywhere near correct. You, and the other Autobots, are eternal."  
  
"No," Prime gently disagreed. "We can die. Many of us die in battle."  
  
"But excepting extenuating circumstances, there's no reason you can't live forever." Kitt stated the fact as gently as he could. "Already, you've lived longer than most humans can imagine, and I find even myself struggling to comprehend. I've always lived my life on a human scale, Prime. The thought of living for hundreds, thousands, _millions_ of years gives me a feeling I can only call nausea, even without the biological systems to cause it. Though I've never known what what would happen to me, I've never thought of existing past a human lifespan. Now I'm faced with the idea of forever, and it chills me."  
  
Silence fell between them. Kitt's hand loosened and the bits of earth fell, filtering through his fingers, back to the ground.  
  
"Cybertron wasn't always a planet at war," Prime began, his voice carefully weighted. "Before Megatron let his ambition get the better of him, he and I ruled side by side. Some were soldiers to help keep the peace. Others were workers in many trades, just as on earth. But others were artists, writers, sculptors, musicians, philosophers... Their work was praised and prized by all. When the war began, many were forced to choose sides. Many who chose the side of peace were not fighters. When the more warlike, under Megatron, began to use force to make their point clear, those were the ones we lost first. The ones that remained went into hiding. They did what they could of their arts in private for as long as they could. They were gentle souls, and though we needed soldiers, we knew that not everyone would have the will for the war that had to be waged. It's been a war of attrition. Each side has had its losses in many more ways than death. We have lost the artists, the philosphers, the gentle souls among our number, even though we've known all along that we, as Autobots, were fighting these battles for them. For their freedom not to fight." His hand settled on the faintly warm metal of Kitt's shoulder. "Humans live at such a fast pace. One hundred years among all of our millenia seems like so very little, but if that is all the time you can share with us, we will all be grateful. We've missed the gentility in our number for so long that to have that among us for even so little as a century is a treasure."  
  
"Thank you, Prime." Kitt looked at him, a hand placed over Prime's there on his shoulder. "Thank you for your understanding."  
  
The elder bowed his head to Kitt before stepping away. He, Kitt knew, was a gentle soul in his own way. He was a soldier for the right reasons, and fought not only because he could but because he knew he should. He shouldered a burden heavier than any of them knew, and for that moment, Kitt felt guilty. It was a burden he didn't have the strength to share. Prime knew now that Kitt felt what none of them did yet. Kitt felt old. He felt weighted by something that wasn't a war. Compared to all the Autobots had seen, Kitt considered his own experiences to be trifling, yet none of them ever acted as if he was less than they. In their eyes, he wasn't a lesser being, and that was confusing in its own right.  
  
This time, he was surprised when he was greeted - though he wasn't greeted with even a hint of sound. Instead, there was a light touch on his arm, then to his cheek. As much as his metal face could smile, he smiled when he saw the so-familiar yellow. He lifted his hand, grasping the one offered him. "Was I looking so morose again?"  
  
" _Ev'ry day here, you come walking / I hold my tongue, I don't do much talking / You say you're happy and you're doin' fine / Well, go ahead, baby; I got plenty of time / Because sad eyes never lie / Because sad eyes never lie_ ," sang out from Bumblebee's radio. With his free hand, he touched Kitt's cheek again.  
  
"I do have a lot on my mind. All of this is... very difficult to adjust to."  
  
" _Different ways, brand new heights / Don't worry just take your time, and you'll be fine_."  
  
Kitt felt his smile become more honest, slightly embarassed. "You have a way with that radio of yours. Thank you, Bumblebee, for being patient with me."  
  
"It's the least I can do," he said then, in his own voice, only to have Kitt's fingers lightly touch his vocaliser.  
  
"Shh. Don't let Ratchet catch you talking too much," Kitt gently warned, just to get a look from Bumblebee that didn't need any words or lyrics to translate. He wrapped his arms carefully around Bumblebee, getting Bumblebee's around him in return. "There's something about you that lightens the weight I've took on myself," he murmured. "Don't let me lose that."  
  
He gently tapped a fingertip on the wing of Kitt's door. Kitt looked up, taking the cue. "Hm?" he softly asked to the innocence he saw in Bumblebee's face.  
  
Slowly, Bumblebee began to sway, softly playing, " _Why don't you, you come to me when things go wrong / Cling to me and, whoa, and I'll be strong / We can get along, we can get along / Oh, if only you trust in me_."  
  
"You'll always have my trust," Kitt promised just as softly. "I promise." The questions he kept asking himself were a long way from being answered. Bumblebee was right - it would take time and trust for him to begin to feel comfortable in himself again, but he was understood and accepted. They didn't expect him to fight, and there was no end to his gratitude for that.  
  
There was, however, one thing he'd overlooked. He wasn't facing this personal trial alone. He was still one of a kind, but he'd been that for years. This change was new, unexpected, and he didn't know how to cope with it, but he had all the more people to ask now. Kitt promised himself then that he wouldn't overlook that fact again.  
  
Reluctantly, he stepped back from Bumblebee, but kept their hands joined. Though confused, Bumblebee followed him to the edge where they both sat. In the distance was the town Kitt had observed, lights blinking on one by one as night began to fall. He silently offered a connection between them, speech without speaking, and in that silent way, he asked, "Bumblebee, will you tell me about Cybertron before the war? Prime mentioned artists, musicians, philosophers - and I'd never imagined what your culture was like before the fighting began."  
  
"I think you would've liked it," Bumblebee told him, and Kitt listened long into the night.

**Author's Note:**

> Song credit goes to: Bruce Springsteen - Sad Eyes, Simon Webbe - Take Your Time, Etta James - Trust In Me.


End file.
